Results 1 to 38 of 38

Thread: Is Civ5 going to have ruins again? (parody)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994

    Is Civ5 going to have ruins again? (parody)

    Reference

    What bothers me most about the entire Civ series to date is the way it graphically depicts its ruins. I mean, c'mon. This is the 22nd century. (Objectively, we must assign a year zero.)

    I want to see panoramic scenes of Ozymandias, with the ability to zoom in on his placard. I want a 360 degree hologram of the Parthenon with enough detail to see dust on the jagged edges of columns. I want real freaking ruins, and it's not like it's hard to do.

    I'm so sick of those stupid goody huts that look like acorns. But those lazy bastards at Firaxis do only what little they have to do to get by. I beat my chest with my fists as I cry out for justice! Why will no one heed my objectively superior opinion?

    --------------------------------------------

    Version for idiots (all members except myself):

    Look, Jane, look! Look at ruins.

    Look, Dick, look! See Jane look at ruins.

    Jane is sad. Dick is mad. Ruins are bad.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Longview, Texas
    Posts
    895
    Haha. Your parodies are good. The guy that posted the original thread is an idiot.

    And I want the ruins to have dragons in them.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    And unicorns.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    690
    Rainbow unicorns.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    "Fake" Virginia, USA
    Posts
    2,487
    Quote Originally Posted by Liberal View Post
    I'm so sick of those stupid goody huts that look like acorns. But those lazy bastards at Firaxis do only what little they have to do to get by. I beat my chest with my fists as I cry out for justice! Why will no one heed my objectively superior opinion?
    I'm tired of you just repeating the same threads over and over again and failing to provide any facts to back up your opinions. Don't you even know what an argument from personal preference is? Geez, why don't you use your brain?

    Why don't you just stop posting, since I know you can't see facts, such as the clear and objective fact that acorn huts are the most beautiful version of ruins in the entire Civ series. Your opinions can't disprove that, but I know you'll just keep saying the same thing.

    Go, on Liberal, fail moar.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    Quote Originally Posted by slowtarget View Post
    I'm tired of you just repeating the same threads over and over again and failing to provide any facts to back up your opinions. Don't you even know what an argument from personal preference is? Geez, why don't you use your brain?

    Why don't you just stop posting, since I know you can't see facts, such as the clear and objective fact that acorn huts are the most beautiful version of ruins in the entire Civ series. Your opinions can't disprove that, but I know you'll just keep saying the same thing.

    Go, on Liberal, fail moar.
    I laugh at your tiny intellect. Ha! And if I hear further from you, I will taunt you a second time.
    Last edited by Liberal; 08-09-2010 at 02:09 AM. Reason: fixed spilling error

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    26
    I think there should be goodey hut ruins so everyone would be happy.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Aalborg, Denmark
    Posts
    172

    Talking

    Priceless!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    260
    OP is a total troll!!










  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    Quote Originally Posted by FeddyPoap View Post
    OP is a total troll!!
    I totally resemble that remark. What IS it with you knot-heads? Think of this objectively. How would you like it if you flew to Istanbul and found out that the Parthenon is just an acorn? Well? Well?

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    690
    My prespective on the world would change

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    199
    The irony loses its edge when the real posts are far more ridiculous than the parodies.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    Quote Originally Posted by Arioch IV View Post
    The irony loses its edge when the real posts are far more ridiculous than the parodies.
    I would be humbled and ashamed were it not for the fact that I did not write the OP. God did. Stone Him!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    690
    I would but religion got removed

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    260
    Game is ruin....

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Rainbow unicorns.
    Hovering golden unicorns?

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    690
    Quote Originally Posted by Canucker View Post
    Hovering golden unicorns?
    That poop flowers.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    245
    Quote Originally Posted by Akar View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Canucker View Post
    Hovering golden unicorns?
    That poop flowers.
    No, no. They EAT flowers. And poop chocolate chip cookies.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    260
    Quote Originally Posted by IONDragonX View Post
    No, no. They EAT flowers. And poop chocolate chip cookies.
    Sometimes stacks of doom.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Bletchley Park, 1940
    Posts
    1,290
    Quote Originally Posted by Liberal
    How would you like it if you flew to Istanbul and found out that the Parthenon is just an acorn? Well? Well?
    Don't be ridiculous. It would be an oak tree by now.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Bletchley Park, 1940
    Posts
    1,290
    Sorry, but I just had to bump up this thread to be with the "Civ V is going to be ruined" thread.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Schwarzeneggerberg, Socal
    Posts
    2,269
    Quote Originally Posted by Liberal View Post
    Reference

    What bothers me most about the entire Civ series to date is the way it graphically depicts its ruins. I mean, c'mon. This is the 22nd century. (Objectively, we must assign a year zero.)

    I want to see panoramic scenes of Ozymandias, with the ability to zoom in on his placard. I want a 360 degree hologram of the Parthenon with enough detail to see dust on the jagged edges of columns. I want real freaking ruins, and it's not like it's hard to do.

    I'm so sick of those stupid goody huts that look like acorns. But those lazy bastards at Firaxis do only what little they have to do to get by. I beat my chest with my fists as I cry out for justice! Why will no one heed my objectively superior opinion?

    --------------------------------------------

    Version for idiots (all members except myself):

    Look, Jane, look! Look at ruins.

    Look, Dick, look! See Jane look at ruins.

    Jane is sad. Dick is mad. Ruins are bad.
    Yeah! RTS games have ruins that look super realistic, with high polygon counts and detailed features. Civilization 4 is a turn based strategy and therefore should be like RTS games graphically. If a RTS game can do it, civilization can too. Civilization 4 was RUINED by this crap.

    I think the problem here is quite clear: Religion. It is impeding the technological advancement of game design.
    Last edited by SlickSlicer; 08-09-2010 at 09:23 AM.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    San Jose, CA
    Posts
    199
    See ruins lie.

    Lie ruins. Lie, lie, lie.

    Look, look, look. See, see, see.

    See ruins lie.

    Lie, lie, lie.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    260
    Quote Originally Posted by SlickSlicer View Post
    Yeah! RTS games have ruins that look super realistic, with high polygon counts and detailed features. Civilization 4 is a turn based strategy and therefore should be like RTS games graphically. If a RTS game can do it, civilization can too. Civilization 4 was RUINED by this crap.

    I think the problem here is quite clear: Religion. It is impeding the technological advancement of game design.
    "All thinking developers are athiests."
    -FeddyPoap

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    301
    well, one thing i'm sure we can all agree on is that finding goody huts is awesome. therefore, i propose that we have goody-huts in EVERY SQUARE

  26. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    420
    Quote Originally Posted by wurrble182 View Post
    well, one thing i'm sure we can all agree on is that finding goody huts is awesome. therefore, i propose that we have goody-huts in EVERY SQUARE
    I used to do that, with the map editor, the second I start a singleplayer game.

  27. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Free State Bavaria
    Posts
    2,287
    I want a big death robot goodie hut, that you can only get in to with lasers. And then it gives you a map.

  28. #28
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Schwarzeneggerberg, Socal
    Posts
    2,269
    On settler difficulty the player should occasionally obtain giant death robots from the goodie huts.

  29. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    Quote Originally Posted by SlickSlicer View Post
    I think the problem here is quite clear: Religion. It is impeding the technological advancement of game design.
    For all we know, everyone at Firaxis might be Muslim. Or worse yet, Catholic. One shudders to think what those poor developers had to go through to get their jobs.

    They could be atheists without souls for all we know ghoulish and loathsome creatures who express schadenfreude through their "art".

    Has anyone else noticed that Firaxis spelled backwards is Beelzebub?

  30. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    26
    Quote Originally Posted by Liberal View Post

    Has anyone else noticed that Firaxis spelled backwards is Beelzebub?
    Now I don't wonder those deeds I did after playing Civ IV.

  31. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    5,477
    Quote Originally Posted by Liberal View Post
    Has anyone else noticed that Firaxis spelled backwards is Beelzebub?
    wait wait wait!

    Firaxis = sixarif

    oh nooes! six axis!

    Civ 5 is going onto the PS3!!

  32. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Schwarzeneggerberg, Socal
    Posts
    2,269
    Quote Originally Posted by MadDjinn View Post
    wait wait wait!

    Firaxis = sixarif

    oh nooes! six axis!

    Civ 5 is going onto the PS3!!
    NOOOOOOOO! BLASPHEMY! ESPECIALLY IF IT ACTUALLY USES SIX AXIS!

    I love my PS3, but uttering such a thing is pure heresy! AAAAAAAAH!

  33. #33
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    347
    Needs Moar* retarded Paladins riding giant emo bunnies over the rainbow raining flaming jelly beans

    *intentional

  34. #34
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Brooklyn!
    Posts
    345
    Sadly, I think the point of this thread will be lost on the original thread poster in which this thread parodies/ trolls

  35. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    260
    I think the original thread poster that this parodies has left us forever. What ever shall we do!

    Also:

    Back on the in-game screen, basic combat units should be moved around the map every turn to try and scout for new locations to found cities, make contact with other civilizations, or discover bonuses hidden in ruins. By walking into ruins with a unit you'll then reap benefits, which can range from bonus units like workers to culture bonuses.
    from http://pc.ign.com/articles/111/1110263p2.html. So I guess we will get ruins again!
    Last edited by FeddyPoap; 08-10-2010 at 04:08 AM.

  36. #36
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    5,477
    Quote Originally Posted by SlickSlicer View Post
    NOOOOOOOO! BLASPHEMY! ESPECIALLY IF IT ACTUALLY USES SIX AXIS!

    I love my PS3, but uttering such a thing is pure heresy! AAAAAAAAH!
    heh

    not sure what the six axis might be useful for except some odd zoom and move feature.

  37. #37
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    994
    Quote Originally Posted by FeddyPoap View Post
    I think the original thread poster that this parodies has left us forever. What ever shall we do!
    Weeping. Copious tears.

  38. #38
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    100
    Did anyone else, when reading "22nd Century" in OP's first post immediately think of that old cartoon Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •